Sahmwhere Ntranzishn

humorNovember 14, 2005 3:01 am

so i’m reading this list -

Things you need to know:
1. Budweiser beer conditions the hair
2. Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
3. Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes
4. Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair
5. Elmer’s Glue - paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see dead skin and blackheads come off.
6. Shiny Hair - use brewed Lipton Tea
7. Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water
8. Minor burn - Colgate or Crest toothpaste
9. Burn your tongue? Put sugar On it!
10. Arthritis? WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too
11. Bee stings - meat tenderizer

on #11, my brain is picturing me with a bee sting on one arm.. and in my other hand i’m holding the meat mallet raised and ready to bash the bee sting.

(more…)

humorNovember 3, 2005 6:39 am

i found this google search connected with my blog this evening.

there’s two ways of looking at that..
1) the origin of the word,
2) the origin of the blog entry that used that word

i dont know about any other blog entry. but i know that i have got an entry that uses that word.

archive 2002
otherwise entitled criminetly

on my way home from some night grocery shopping, i looked at the rear-view mirror and noticed that a car was following me with its “christmas lights” on.
-were they maybe wanting me to pull over?.. why, what have i done, i haven’t run a stoplight or anything-

so i found a parking lot and pulled over. when they pulled in too, i knew.. yep. they wanted me.
so, one of them comes to the window and says, “could i see your driver’s license please, ma’am”

i got it out of my purse and handed it over to him.
the cop asked, “didn’t you know we were behind you?”
i thought but didn’t say –there wasn’t any reason for me to be on the look out for any police car wanting me to pull over–

he continued.. “didn’t you hear us?” (they had a siren going?)

“no, i had the radio on.. what’s the problem?.. why did you pull me over?”
“you’ve got a front light out.”
“oh, i didn’t know that..” looking out ahead of me, the lights looked fine. “it looked okay to me.”

he went and stood in front of the light and it was obvious that his pants were not lit up like they would be had a light been shining. busted. he walked back to me. “could i see your registration, ma’am”

read (more…)

humorOctober 18, 2005 9:30 pm

today over at pivital point

there’s good n funny stuff like strange ways to spell sentances -

and this weeks runon teaser..

well.. anyway that’s the way i saw it.

“Weekend Scheiss Weekly: . . . or maybe it’s just that I’m older than dirt Full of Crap: Let’s ask the cats about the World Series Grouchy Old Cripple: Bad Parenting Pivot Point Post: Abbreviated Insults Scrappleface 1: Iraq’s exploding…read more”

actually its a series of links.. but in keeping with the site.. i just thought i’d puTitAltogTheR.

uPdaTe: 10.26

fox news to take traffic reporting to the next level the skwib: ask general kang: the home edition the peace moonbeam chronicles: doing hard time with peace mother sheehan gigolokitty: me nonviolent! bad example nose on your face.

oh yeah.. that sounds about right..

the peace moonbeam chronicles: doing hard time with peace mother sheehan gigolokitty: me nonviolent! bad example nose on your face.

yep.

humor, news, alternate libuniverseOctober 16, 2005 2:47 am

a staged news event gone awry.

up the creek

out to embarrass bush over alleged video stunt, today gets caught in stunt of its own

“..paddling in the ankle deep “flood waters”. Wildly amusing in the sense that the idiot reporter got caught on live TV proving herself an idiot, but incredibly annoying in the sense that she was trying to make her viewers think things were a lot worse than they actually were.”

“Take note of her last sentence,..”it’s really tough to control a canoe or boat when you’re out in it.” Uhhhh yeah, I’ve heard those ankle-deep floods have quite a deadly current! Which is why she didn’t notice the guys splash by her boat while she was performing her little skit - it was tough controlling her little canoe!”
http://euphoria.jarkolicious.com/

- - -

yeah, watch out for that man made “tsunami” headed her way.

- - -

“..It’s not like we were trying to pass it off as something it wasn’t, spokeswoman Lauren Kapp said.

“..highly ambitious - young reporter Michelle Kosinski has been on the scene for Today in New Jersey, working the story. In an apparent effort to draw attention to herself..
this morning she appeared on a suburban street . . . paddling a canoe. There was one small problem. Just as the segment came on the air, two men waded in front of Kosinki . . . and the water barely covered their shoe tops! That’s right, Kosinski’s canoe was in no more than four to six inches of water!”
http://newsbusters.org/node/2199

- - -

“..Michelle Kosinski yesterday accused Bush of staging his video conference with the troops in Iraq.
She, in turn, found herself, er, up a creek.”
http”//myopiczeal.blogsome.com/2005/10/14/

“..I want to know who our two heroes were that exposed her.

What is especially sweet is that they lead into that “report” complaining that Bush staged an interview with troops in Iraq.”
http://noahware.blogspot.com/2005/10/

- - -

SGT Ron Long serving as a US Army Combat Medic with the 278th RCT in Iraq
http://278medic.blogspot.com/2005/10/speaking-with-president-bush.html

humor, familyOctober 14, 2005 10:51 pm

sometime back on “Everybody Loves Raymond” it was the “Blabbermouths” episode.. where Ray gets upset with Debra when he finds out she’s sharing intimate details about … (whatever) … i didn’t see the whole thing but from the jist, all the members of the family were involved in the passing of accusations and tossing blame around like a hot potato. not all that different but now they have a new member of the family to christen, Amy, who by the way, wets her pants whenever she gets a good laugh going.

so during a commercial, i commented. “They were sure tossing it back n forth, weren’t they?” i have a tendency to do that. comment on the obvious. but really it was just a conversation starter.


has (more…)